Hiking in pajamas

 

Yesterday we made it to the northern end of Te Waipounamu on the Te Araroa. Will and I woke up around 2 am to go pee and see the phenomenon of bioluminescence in the water. Tiny plankton lit up as I walked through the water like electric sparks around my feet. I bet it is even more fantastic in the summer. We fell back asleep for a few hours then I was wide awake. "Want to start hiking now to see the sunrise?" I whispered to Will around 5:15 am. "Uhhhhhhh, mmmmmm, sure.." was not the most enthusiastic response but I took that to mean yes and soon we were packing up. There was a morepork or ruru (New Zealand's native owl) calling in the distance, like a watchful guardian in the night. 

My alarm set for 6:45 went off just as we reached the saddle and there was just enough light to turn off my headlamp. A view of Schoolhouse Bay, where we spent the night, was yet to emerge in the dark. To our east, there was a stunning view of Motuara island and what we guessed was the north island obscured by clouds. We celebrated our accomplishment with two rounds of french-pressed coffee while we watched the sun come up. I cried, and smiled with my eyes closed as I felt the warmth on my face. Slowly the birds woke up around us; a symphony of tomtit, pīwakawaka and korimaku singing. A rustle in the bushes, and a weka came out to join the party. Once we finished our coffee, a short 2 km walk led us to the ocean where we stripped off to swim before the water taxi arrived. On our boat ride to Picton, we watched the pakaha birds soar over the water and even saw a kekeno seal. We each ate half-baked chocolate chip cookies as we speculated where the trail crossed over the ridge to our west and where the trail had been washed out by the 11cm of rain we received a few days ago. I could not imagine a better way to end our journey. 

 

How do I sum up the last few weeks on trail in just a few words? We have scrambled up rocky mountain passes, clung to each other through river crossings, soaked in natural hot springs in the rain, and spotted too many mushrooms to count. Gushing waterfalls, clear blue lakes and narrow gorges with no end in sight remind us of our home in Hood River. Mist covers my face and drips into the corners of my mouth. A sweet musky smell of decomposing leaves and petricor hit me with a wave of memories from fall in the Gorge. Hiking north, I am riding the wave of nostalgia, the pīwakawaka eagerly fluttering branch to branch hunting bugs disturbed by my footsteps. Our first day on trail was the first day of fall in New Zealand but we were able to enjoy quite a few sunny days, jumping in swimming holes and wearing very little clothing. Fall was in full swing by the time we finished, making it through the mountain passes just days before a snowstorm, thankful for each others' warmth at night.

With the turn of the weather, there were less people out on trail and we even had a few huts to ourselves. We spent our evenings reading aloud to each other, writing in our journals, playing cards and dining by candlelight. To think we could all be living this way, with enough land and resources in the world for everyone to meet their basic needs. I am an optimist, but right now the future is looking bleak and it is already marginalized groups that will suffer most. While most Americans are just making it by living paycheck to paycheck, immigrants are being forcefully removed and separated from their families, some sent to a prison/concentration camp in El Salvador, dissenting student activists legally in the U.S. are being detained, and trans people are being stripped of their rights to exist freely in their skin. An aching in my heart forces me to stop hiking for a moment and surrender to let the misery of it all wash over me. You can't outrun your feelings forever and every part of yourself, especially the most armored, needs attention.

While I have thru-hiked before, hiking with another person from start to finish was a new experience for me. I found the company to be quite enjoyable, even sharing a tent and sleeping bag! Over the past 64 days we have hiked over 1000 kilometers, sometimes in pouring rain, with physical ailments, through mud and difficult trail conditions. I am happy to report we still love each other and have even grown closer. We find peace being surrounded by trees and enjoyed the quiet time to reflect now, we wonder how to bring some back to our day-to-day lives. 

Time unbound to any schedule and moving at a pace suitable to daydream, emotions naturally flow through and exist in my body. I try my best to love myself without judgement and listen to what these feelings are telling me. I am nearly 30 years old and still have a lifetime of learning ahead. Themes of self-efficacy, trust and acceptance laced the lessons of my days on trail. Moments of clarity allowed me to see my intuition had guided me home yet again. I took a moment to feel my truth while also accepting that not everyone has the same perspective. We need to communicate in order to move forward with loving understanding. 

I did not listen to music often on the trail, but when I was seeking some motivation or something to match my mood, I had a selection of downloaded albums and playlists. My favorite albums included a long-time favorite (Blond, Frank Ocean), a new favorite (Alligator Bites Never Heal, Doechii), and songs from Chappell Roan, Dehd, Y La Bamba, and Lorde. Some days I listened to podcasts to pass the time and one that stood out was the Zapatistas Podcast - lessons and stories from Chiapas. In the limited 5 episode series they talk about autonomy in food and education, a woman/trans led movement, and how independent media can be used as a powerful tool of resistance. 

           

  

After two months of hiking almost every day, my nervous system has slowed to a crawl with such a simple daily routine. Like the strike of a match, I am back in my body and mind. I feel alive, fueled by the purpose and excitement of reaching a distance by foot which most consider absurd. The time on trail was such a privilege, now we continue our adventures in New Zealand with a workaway (gardening, painting, etc) in Wellington, then hopefully buying a van. In June, we move to Wānaka where I will work at Treble Cone Resort. Stay tuned for updates along the way.